I have found that people love to hear about others being put in uncomfortable situations, In my years as a home Inspector I have had a few of those. I decided to share the three most popular with you.
COME ON IN
I showed up for an home inspection of a condo in a college area. When I knocked on the door a 20 something female answered the door soaking wet and wearing nothing but a white satin robe. Have you ever seen wet white satin? It is almost transparent!!!
I quickly looked away and informed her I was here for a professional home inspection and would be outside for the next 30-45 minutes and then I would need to come inside.
She told me she had worked all night and I could come in and do whatever I wanted.
I called the buyer’s agent (nice lady from India) I informed her what had just happened and told her there was no way I was going into that condo alone. She arrived about a half hour later and knocked on the door. The same female came to the door, she was now dry but still wearing the wet (semi-transparent) robe. I thought the agent was going to faint. The occupant went into the master bedroom and I performed the inspection on the rest of the home. There were several suggestive pictures on the walls of the place, You know the type, girl in thong covering breasts with her hands, girls in underwear in a paint fight etc. Some of them were of the occupant and others were of her roommate (I learned this later).
When it came time to inspect the master bedroom, the buyer’s agent knocked on the door and was told to come in. The occupant was laying on top of the covers naked. The agent covered her so I could finish my inspection. As I was inspecting the room I reached above the bed to operate the window and the girl said here let me get out of the way, then started to get out of bed. The agent pounced on her and kept her covered. I wanted to laugh but didn’t dare.
I arrived to perform a Chandler Home Inspection and the male owner of the home let me in. He was a nice guy, well groomed and very polite, he offered me something to drink and then said he was fixing himself lunch and asked if I wanted any. (I declined) About an hour later he tells me he will be leaving as his soon to be ex-wife is coming home and they can’t be in the same room with each other. He shakes my hand and off he goes. 15 minutes later this lovely lady arrives, she is dressed in a business suit, introduces herself and asks if I would like anything to eat or drink as she was going to fix herself something. (again I decline) I was thinking what a nice couple, both attractive, both very polite and both want to serve, I wonder why they are getting divorced.
About an hour after that I set up a ladder to go in the attic. When I entered the attic I was a little surprised to find a “Billy the blow up doll”, a bondage harness and several other toys, gay magazines and videos. When I climbed out of the attic the wife greeted me at the bottom of the ladder. He had her arms crossed looked me straight in the eye and stated:
“So, what did you think of the stuff stored in the attic?”
Err, I don’t really have a comment, I am there to look at insulation, framing ductwork and stuff like that. “But you did see the stuff stored up there didn’t you?”
Yes, I was a little surprised to find all that in the attic.
“Not as surprised as I was when I decided to store our Christmas decorations up there last year. My husband tried to tell me they were not his and they must be from the previous owner of the home. The problem is we had the house built for us.”
I guess I know why they are getting divorced.
I was performing a home inspection a vacant Chandler home that a friend of mine was buying. Most of the furnishings were gone but there was a lot of stuff still stored in the garage. Most of it was Coca-Cola memorabilia, a nice bench, the white polar bears, lots of Christmas Stuff etc. I thought wao, these people like Coke.
As part if a home inspection I inspect the attic. In the attic I saw bare foot prints in the cellulose insulation, (Weird) as I was exiting the attic the flashlight on my tool belt caught in the handle of a plastic grocery bag and knocked it to the floor. I climbed down the ladder and picked it up. There were little pieces of wax paper folded up that had spilled out of the bag. When I was putting them back in the bag I realized that it was likely cocaine and now my fingerprints are on it. (in AZ all home inspectors are fingerprinted) Now what do I do? I don’t want to take it or flush it and have someone think I took it. I don’t want to leave it now that my finger prints are all over the stuff.
I called the police department and they sent over a couple of detectives to test the white powder I found. Sure enough it was cocaine. They then wanted to search the whole house, they waited for a warrant while I finished my inspection. I gave my friend (the buyer) the report and told him what happened. The next week my friend called me and asked if I could stop by the home. Someone had loaded all the stuff in the garage into a truck then backed into the wall of the home instead of pulling out of the garage. The inside wall of the garage was now six inches from where it should have been.
The police had contacted the owner of the home (she was renting it to her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend) and told her they found cocaine at the property. The daughter told her mom the cops were lying, it was just some face powder her boyfriend had bought for her. Face powder, hmm, I never heard it called that before.
My friend decided not to purchase the home. He was concerned that someone might stop by some night in need of some face powder.